Laura posted a symbolic gesture
Monday, September 12, 2022
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My dad was born 1/1/1959 and grew up with his 4 siblings in East Orange. He started working as a police officer in West Orange and met my mom (Valerie) during that time; they married 7/7/1984 and welcomed their first child (Dianna) the following year. After the birth of their second child (me) dad became a Sergeant, and they moved to a yellow house at the end of the street on Woodside Terrace. Dad studied accounting at Essex County College; in 1994 he and mom welcomed their third child (John), and a year later dad graduated from Montclair State University (BS in Business Administration, Financial Accounting). In 1996 their fourth child (Zoey) was born, dad became a Lieutenant, and that December the family moved to Oak Ridge.
While in Oak Ridge, dad lived his best life as he continued to work for West Orange PD, as well as serving as a youth group leader at Green Pond Bible Chapel (1999–2007) and working as personal Income Tax Preparer on the side. He took the family on vacations to historical Williamsburg, VA and a cruise to Nova Scotia; he spent his free time driving his Porsche, then his Harley motorcycle, and later, his Miata. Both in his career and at home he worked hard, often getting so into a project that he’d forget to eat. Dad made the best lemon chicken I’ve ever had, and he loved oatmeal raisin cookies and strawberry shortcake on his birthdays. It was a bit of a game getting him to smile, but he always had a dad joke ready and waiting (did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up). Every Sunday morning he’d wrangle us all to church, then eat Rocky Road ice cream in the evenings while watching Law and Order and CSI with my mom.
Anyone with eyes could see they truly loved each other and had strong marriage based on love, communication, and mutual respect. They complemented (and complimented) each other throughout their 25 year marriage; he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 41 and retired from being a police officer a few years later in 2006. His hardworking (and possibly ADHD) mind wouldn’t let him sit on the couch all day—he worked a couple jobs, including Security Officer at Jefferson Township HS (where Dianna, me, John, Zoey, and Sam attended). My mom was diagnosed with cancer (late 2007) and passed 11/7/2009, and throughout her illness, dad took care of her every step of the way: from long trips into NYC for doctor’s appointments and chemo, managing all her medications, and even when a hospice nurse could have assisted dad was taking care of mom. Dad did his best to process—and help his children cope with—the devastating loss; he stated his intention to be buried at her side when he himself passed so he and mom could be together in burial as well as reunited in heaven.
