Friday, February 16, 2024
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Dear Mrs. O’Connor, Jenny, John, Lori and Families,
I’m so sorry to hear of Mr. O’Connor’s passing and for your loss. My deepest condolences to the entire O’Connor family! Wishing you all peace & comfort!
I am flooded with so many happy memories when thinking about Mrs. O’Connor and Mr. O’Connor, and growing up in West Orange! How lucky we all were to have such a great experience of growing up in a wonderful town populated with great role models, teachers and mentors! Your mom and dad represent the cornerstone, the top one percent of what made West Orange such a wonderful town to learn and grow up in!
Growing up I learned and observed that all families go through good times and tough times. Life is always throwing curve balls at all of us. I learned to handle adversity from my own mom and dad but also from all the mentors in the neighborhood.
Mrs. O’Connor and Mr. O’Connor, thank you both for teaching me and so many of us to be kind, caring, loving and empathy towards others! For teaching by examples of how to "just roll up your sleeves" and just start helping others without waiting to be asked. Thank you both for encouraging me to read and seeking knowledge (although while at Our Lady of Lourdes grammar school you couldn't get me to read anything, I just wanted to play sports lol). Now I can’t put a book down, thank you both for staying on me and encouraging me. Because now I just love reading and gaining knowledge.
So many of us have the great connections/experiences of Our Lady of Lourdes, Colgate Field, Ginny Dunkel pool, and W.O. PAL. And there was always Joe O’Connor, helping us, listening, coaching, teaching, and always caring for us!
When my mom became ill in 1975 with a brain tumor. My mom spent the following years in the hospital and at Kessler Institute for rehabilitation. My father had to raise us 4 young kids while he worked 3 jobs (day job, night job and weekend job). We always felt the love and support of our neighbors in West Orange. Then in 1982 my dad found out a fundraising dance would be held for our mom. The leader of that fundraiser was Joe and Arlene O’Connor! They spearheaded the event, pulled the volunteers together, organized and put all the flyers in the business up and down main street. This event raised $30,000 and was given to my dad. This wonderful act of kindness has always been very much appreciated by my family! That much needed money helped my dad pay medical bills the insurance did not always cover. My dad would always smile when talking about Joe “Beaver” O’Connor, and he would always simply say to me and others “Joe O’Connor is just good people”! It was a simple quote from my dad, but it said so much of Joe O’Connor. The Rae family will always have much love for the O’Connor family and all the kind neighbors from West Orange!
My dad enjoyed playing basketball with Mr. O’Connor on the 1973-75’s championship Tory Corner Tavern men's team. I would watch those games as a young kid and listen to Joe always scolding my dad for passing the ball too much, and not taking a shot. My dad would always laugh at Joe because he rather make a great behind the back pass assist than shoot the ball himself. It was fun and exciting watching these games. Seeing how great a pure jump shooter Joe was.
My dad would always smile when telling a Joe O’Connor story. One of his favorite stories was telling how Joe ended his service in the army. Joe was sent overseas in the the1950’s. The G.I. 's, had to go on slow ships for two weeks and many of them got severe sea sickness. Joe hated that trip and got seasick. When his tour was finished, he was ready to return to the States. A Colonel came to Joe and asked him to stay longer and play in some basketball games. Joe wanted to get back home, but he made a deal with the Colonel that if he stayed longer and won the games, the Colonel would get Joe back home on an airplane and not the horrible ship and two weeks of sea sickness. Well, these army base games had big bragging rights and lots of side money bet on them between the different base commanders. Needless to say, Joe with his great pure jump shooting skills, helped win these games and made the Colonel really happy. And true to his word Joe got sent back to the States in comfort on an airplane. My dad loved telling that story. It always made him smile and laugh.
Mr. O’Connor would always stop by when I was practicing basketball at Colgate field. Mr. O’Connor would always spend time with me, always offering advice and kind words of encouragement. During my grammar school years, I had no jump shot. I developed a ugly behind the head slingshot. When Mr. O’Connor would watch me shoot, it would bring tears to his eyes. He told me it was painful to watch, and he always joked and told my dad “Dan I should report you for child abuse, for letting your son develop that ugly behind the head slingshot”! Well Mr. O’Connor would patiently work and coach me, to help break my bad habit/slingshot. It was not easy breaking my bad habit, but slowly I developed a pretty good pull-up jump shot that served me well playing Varsity and starting in High School. Joe O’Connor just had a kind way of working with you. He would put his arm around you, and you knew he cared! I will always be grateful for all the great times I had being around Joe O’Connor. Even if he did threaten me, with going into the Colgate field house to retrieve a baseball bat to break my arms if he ever saw me shooting that ugly slingshot again. Joe O’Connor was just simply the best! Always funny, kind and encouraging!
I feel bad for Saint Peter right now. Because I know my dad and Bob Lasher have put a strong hand check, heavy body/box-out on Saint Peter to make sure that Joe O’Connor (reuniting with their Tory Corner Tavern teammate, neighbor and dear friend) would get an expedited entrance through the Pearly Gates and straight into Heaven! No waiting in line or answering questions.
Rest in peace Mr. O’Connor, thank you for all you have done, for all the love and kindness you always showed to my mom and dad and us 4 kids. You always made us laugh!! Mr. O’Connor you always set an example of kindness, humor, caring, and teaching! You were a proud Irish gentleman and touched countless lives in West Orange!
I always found comfort in this Irish poem, and I hope it does the same for you:
“Those we love don’t go away.
They walk beside us every day.
Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and still very dear!”
Respectfully,
Danny, Sharon, Donna, and Tommy
Our thoughts and prayers are with your entire O’Connor family!
